"Be Still"

Imagine that time when you were younger and sitting in the doctor's office. The doctor has his/her back to you as they prep the needle he/she is about to stick into your arm as a vaccination. "Be still," they tell you. "It may be uncomfortable." "It'll just hurt for a second." And it does... but you trust the doctor and sit still. And eventually, you got better. The pain seemed to subside and now you're stronger for it.

Similar scenarios happen all the time even now, even though we're grown. An unexpected event happens and we stress. "Be still," God tells us as we continue to squirm because it is uncomfortable and it hurts. 

Ephesians 6:10-12
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Some of these seasons are long, and longer for others. Take heart, pray & trust God. Be still. Spiritual warfare exists but our God is the God who conquered death. That is where our victory is found. Not in the lies or temptations Satan tosses your way. I don't know what you may be enduring, but I'm struggling too. I'm bitter, stressed and depressed. Through Christ, however, I find peace in knowing that He, too, was betrayed, and that I am worthy of love. Although I'm not a finished product, my sorrow will turn into endless joy. My tears will soon turn to dancing. 

Just like the doctor told the 6-year-old version of me... Be still... Slow down and look to Christ for strength. A heavy amount of peace is found in the midst of God's strength. 

Why I Do Not Want a Relationship with God

Yep. You read that right. I do not want a relationship with God. I believe God exists and I believe He is superior but I do not want a relationship with Him. That is all too casual. I have the desire to discover God (quite impossible considering who He is), but I do not want a relationship with Him. I sense the urgency in growing in my walk as a Christian. I want to cling to Christ. I want to seek His grace. I want others to seek and feel His grace. I want to be a disciple. I want to know God and feel His presence, but I do not want a relationship with Him.

As friendships deepen and relationships grow, we become more comfortable with that person. I do not want to be comfortable with God. Do you even realize who He is?? I want God to come in on an ordinary day and rock my world. I want God to show His power and strength in every aspect of my life. I want to sense His might and witness His grace but I do not want it to be a casual occurrence. I do not want to be comfortable with the incredible ways that He is constantly working around and through us. I want to be surprised and amazed by God and His character. His holiness versus my sinfulness. His strength versus my weaknesses. His light versus my darkness. His compassion. His mercy. His grace. And His unrelenting love. These are not things I want to grow used to experiencing. I want to forever be moved by God. I want God to come in and awaken me because of who He is and the power and authority that He holds, not because of who I- a sinner- see Him as. He is my father but because He cares, creates and provides, not because He can be compared to a standard human characteristic. God is not ordinary and I refuse to have a relationship with a God I am comfortable with.

The "Key" to a Life Free of Comparison

For where jealousy and self ambition exist, there will be disorder and vile practice. - James 3:16

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I sometimes see other people succeed and although I truly want to be happy for them, I catch myself acting spiteful. I'm sure I'm not alone in this but this shouldn't and does not justify my attitude. I am very competitive with myself so if I do something, I want to be the best one at it or else I get very frustrated.

But think of a key. Keys all look the same for the most part, but each one has a very distinct and different purpose. They are not the same, but that doesn't mean that the key that unlocks my car is any less significant or less important than the key to my house. We were designed with a purpose (like a key) and my purpose is different from yours. And that is okay.

No matter how cliche it may sound, our worth is found and rooted in Christ. I don't see how people can say that God is some being in an unattached/unaffiliated universe. If the following premise were true, this would imply that we were created without a purpose and that our lives have no meaning.

The same way that keys are created to unlock whatever is behind the door, we were also created to unlock a unique potential that has been embedded within us by God. Just because I'm not gifted in the same way as others are, doesn't devalue who I am.  I challenge you to think about and dwell on this for a little bit. Our worth is determined by who and whose we are in Christ- not by what we can or can't do that others may be able to.

Potential is Tricky

The idea of leadership and investing in the lives of people is something that has been heavy on my heart lately. With graduation from college coming up shortly, I feel this is a topic God has laid on my heart for me to pursue. I'm grateful to work for a company that allows me to lead my team and yet at the same time, I am constantly learning and growing myself because of those people. This is great and exciting and I absolutely love it but I've also found it to sometimes be tricky.

The problem is that I've become almost obsessed with self-development and improving myself. We have to know ourselves in order to lead ourselves. By leading ourselves, we have the potential to lead those around us. Woo leadership! ... but not quite. What I'm finding out is that the more I focus on myself, the less I'm focusing on God. I thought all of this self-development was helping me to become the woman that God has created me to be but all I've done is taken my eyes off of Him and focused on myself. In doing so, I have completely lost sight of who I am. I may be able to pick myself apart and give you a list of "deficiencies" but I can't tell you what I'm passionate about, what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing or what I'm even good at doing.  I became too fixated on me and everything that I'm not that I forgot about others and who I am in Christ. The person I knew I didn't want to be is who I became. I lost my identity and stripped myself of the everlasting joy that Christ extends to us.

I believe this is something we can all relate to to some extent. So friends, I want to encourage you in your walk with Christ. I want to remind you where and who your worth is rooted in. I urge you to run to the father who will guide you and walk alongside you as you begin to discover and embrace the potential He has instilled in you. His arms are open and He is patiently awaiting this journey. It's not something we can do alone. I can find rest knowing that my own development and leadership is dependent on the unfailing strength of Christ. The person God has created me to be is far better than whatever I conjure in my mind. How sweet is that?!

Pain with a Purpose

 

Tonight was weird. I was talking with an old friend of mine, who I'm no longer really friends with but we ran into each other this past weekend so we were kinda catching up. The friendship didn't really end on a great note and our current conversation, well... it sucked. At the time, I felt like I was the only one putting in effort and I was becoming frustrated. they texted me to talk to me, but they weren't talking. So much had happened in the past 6 months and this was the person I would come running to with good news. All I still wanted to do was not brag, but share with them how glorious and good life is but they didn't care, so I withheld.

As I started to say my goodbyes, I wanted to leave them with a positive note. I quickly reflected on this specific relationship. I learned so much about who I was, and who I even had the potential to be. Little did I know, this person had such an influence on who I am right now. The past 6 months at work has forced me to really come out of my comfort zone and in exercising this new role- this new me- I'm seeing where this person has left their imprints on me. So while the friendship didn't turn out how I wished and hoped, it has still had a positive impact on my life. This person showed me love. They showed me how to love- myself and others. But also they have taught me how to lead others in a loving way. They taught me that not everyone will always agree with me or even like me, but I'm still loved. I still have a purpose and it isn't found in the opinions of others but is rooted in Christ.

Every thing has a purpose. Everything happens for a reason. The end of this friendship really took a toll on me but I'm able to see now how God designed this relationship with a specific purpose in mind. This experience in my life was a lesson. I was and still am able to grow and learn from it. How great is it to serve a God who has our best intentions at heart. It's amazing and beautiful to see how all the pieces in life fit together and serve a greater purpose than our current state of pain.

Whatever you are struggling with, whatever is hurting you, give it to God. There's a reason you're going through that but I promise you are strong and we serve a stronger God. He is good in every season. Your pain has a plan. Mine did and discovering it is a joyful journey.

Jesus Didn't Die For Butterflies

So ya know, it's Valentines Day, so this post is pretty fitting in my opinion. I think it's important for everyone (whether you're in a relationship, you want to be or you're just taking time to do you) to realize that love is so much more than an emotion.

First off, love is NOT the same as lust. Loving someone for their body or what they do or make you feel physically is not love. That's lust and it's wrong. However, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be attracted to your significant other. Because that's important in a relationship. Just don't confuse the two. Basically, you shouldn't only be with someone because they're "hot", "cute" or "handsome/pretty" but you should think those things about your partner. That should not be the sole purpose of the relationship, though.

Also, love is so so so much more than the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. Love isn't an emotion. Jesus did not die for you because He felt butterflies when He saw you. It's not a romantic kind of love He felt, but the point still applies. Even as parents, its the same concept. Love is knowing every flaw some one has and loving who they are despite of them. Love is choosing to see the good in a flawed person. That's what Jesus did for us when He died on the cross- He knows our every thoughts and actions (past and future) yet He loves us. He yearns for a relationship and chose to give up His own life so we can find ours through Him. You can't properly love someone without seeing the love Jesus shows us throughout the Bible and even now in our daily lives.

I think that's the biggest concept to grasp. Jesus showed us what true love is, is the relationship you're in honoring to this?

The Joy of The Lord

When I get stressed out, I sometimes feel like everything in the universe in against me. I can't stop it and it's like every one does something to purposely upset or frustrate me. 99% of the time, that's not true at all but it's so easy to overlook all the good in our lives.

Life gets busy and it's easy to let work or school or whatever overwhelm us but we have to remember to take a step back and breath. The things we take for granted, someone else is praying for. That's humbling! It puts things in perspective and gives me a grateful heart. So maybe you still live at home and you're arguing with your parents, someone in the world just lost theirs (or both) and would do anything to have them back. Maybe you're really stressed out in a relationship, work or college. There is someone out there who is praying that they don't get laid off, can afford their tuition or praying for their spouse/marriage because it's falling apart.

The trap of negativity is easy to fall into. And it's paralyzing. We have so much to be thankful for, even if our life seems like it's a failure. Pray about it. Trust God. Stay humble and kind. At least try to see the good in every person and every situation you come across. That outlook can change your mindset and change your life. Talk about your joys. The things in life that make you smile. Even little insignificant things like puppies, sunflowers or the way the rain hits your tin roof. God is with you and He loves you! Even if it seems like He's a million miles away.

~ For the joy of The Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10 ~